Redemption Hill Church - Stewartville, MN
  • Welcome
  • The Gospel
  • Happenings
  • About Us
    • Our Purpose Statement & Core Values
    • Our Beliefs
    • Our Commitments
    • Our Pastor
  • Media
    • Sermons >
      • Genesis Sermon Series
      • Exodus - Deuteronomy Sermon Series
      • Joshua & Judges Series
      • Ruth Book Study
      • 1 Samuel Sermon Series
      • Job Sermons
      • Proverbs Sermon Series
      • Jonah Sermon Series
      • Sermon on the Mount Series
      • Jesus' High Priestly Prayer (John 17) Series
      • Luke/Acts Sermon Series
      • Galatians Sermon Series
      • Ephesians Sermon Series
      • 2 Timothy Sermons
      • Titus Sermon Series
      • Hebrews Sermon Series
      • James Sermon Series
      • 2 Peter Sermon Series
      • "What Do We Believe?" Series
      • Other Sermons
    • Pastor's Blog
    • Members/Friends Portal
  • Contact Us
  • Donate

Is Your Child A Christian?

8/7/2013

0 Comments

 
Picture
Of all the concerns that resonate in the heart of a Christian parent, that question--"Is my child a truly-converted follower of Christ?"--is and ought to be among the most poignant.  Any true believer who genuinely understands the gospel will be burdened to some degree for the salvation of every other person, and a parent's love for a child only heightens that reality.  My prayers for the conversions of my children are persistent and sometimes tearful, and include passionate petitions for the grace to bring them up well in the discipline and instruction of the Lord (Eph. 6:4).  I truly trust God to do right with their eternal destinies, at the same time believing that I share in His profound sympathy for seeing them come to the knowledge of the truth (1 Tim. 2:3-4).  The following article by Brian Croft has been helpful to me in considering how to shepherd my children well in the light of the gospel.  


Is Your Child a Christian?

Is my child a Christian?

As parents, we all wrestle with how to answer this question, and I've found there are usually two extremes that need to be avoided. The first is made worse by a lack of discernment shown in many churches when they routinely extend altar calls to 4- or 5-year-olds, ask them to raise their hands if they love Jesus, and then baptize them as converted followers of Christ.

The second is often a reaction against the carelessness of the first. This extreme prevents both parents and also pastors from being willing to affirm a child's conversion until they are adults, independent of their parent's authority and care. While reluctance on both counts is somewhat warranted, I believe a middle ground must be approached in order to discern clear biblical evidence that a child, teenager, or young adult has become a new creature in Christ.

Five Evidences

Admitting the obvious—that we are not God and cannot see the heart—I maintain certain evidence can help us discern the legitimacy of child or teenager's profession of faith. In the spirit of Jonathan Edwards's five signs of true conversion, here are five evidences I often use as a template when dealing with this difficult issue.

1. Growing affection and need for Jesus and the gospel.

2. Heightened understanding of the truths of Scripture.

3. Increased kindness and selflessness toward siblings.

4. Greater awareness of and distaste for sin.

5. Noticeable desire to obey parents.

In my experience as a parent and pastor, I've realized age isn't the most important gauge in determining true conversion. Instead, it's generally wise to look for these evidences in an age-appropriate manner. For example, a 16-year-old will articulate his understanding of the gospel differently—and more fully—than a 10-year-old. The same may be said of a child's desire to obey their parents or display a selfless spirit toward their siblings. As children age, these things will begin to look different, and our expectations should follow suit.

Nevertheless, visible fruit must be present in some way, and I'd strongly discourage anyone from affirming a child's conversion without some kind of tangible evidence apart from a verbal profession. On the flip side, though, I'd caution parents and pastors from falling into the trap of demanding more from a child than can be reasonably expected and observed.

Five Questions

Here are five questions to consider when looking for the above evidences and evaluating the spiritual condition of a child.

1. Does my child appear to truly love Jesus, or is he or she just telling me they do because I said so?

Children will often do what we tell them to do, believe what we tell them to believe, and say what we tell them to say. When it comes to saying, "I believe in Jesus," parents can manipulate a response even with the best of intentions. Instead of coaxing the right words, however, we should look for genuine affection for Jesus within the child and, as best we can, ascertain if this affection finds its root in what he's done to save them from their sins through his death and resurrection.

2. Does my child independently seek to know God's Word?

I've read God's Word with my kids before they could read themselves. What caught my eye, though, is when my oldest daughter began to read and seek to understand its truth apart from my prodding. She would read Scripture on her own and then ask me questions. These behaviors revealed what my wife and I identified as a genuine desire to know God's Word better—independent of either of us.

3. Does my child demonstrate greater understanding of deep spiritual truths?

A helpful confirmation that my oldest son had been converted happened about one year after the fact. While reflecting on finishing the Book of James in our Wednesday evening Bible study, my son shared he was sad to miss the final week since it was going to be an overview of the book. I asked why he was sad, given that he'd been there throughout the entire book, and he replied, "I feel like I remember the last three chapters of James well, but I don't remember much about the first two." I then realized we had started James 3 soon after we felt our son was converted.

The word "awakening" is a helpful way to understand conversion not just in adults, but in kids, too. Consider whether your child appears to understand truths about God, the gospel, and the Bible better than before. Have you noticed a spiritual awakening?

4. Is my child demonstrating spiritual fruit contrary to his personality?

It's common to mistake spiritual fruit with positive aspects of a child's personality. We need to know, then, the different personality traits in each child before we can discern true spiritual fruit. For example, my son is an extrovert, loves people, and has always loved those in our church. Therefore, love for the local church, although a fruit of conversion, wasn't the best place to discern my son's conversion since he's naturally wired to love people anyway. My oldest daughter, however, didn't naturally love people the same way—something that noticeably changed after her conversion. In short, it's important to honestly assess your child's personality and look for evidences of supernatural fruit that would appear contrary to it.

5. Is there independent remorse for daily sins?

My wife and I found it helpful to look for our child's burden over their sin apart from any discipline, correction, or punishment. A parent can make a child feel "convicted" for sins, but that doesn't necessarily mean God by his Spirit has brought the conviction. Look for moments when your child hurts a sibling with their words and goes to apologize on his own. Look for your child to come and confess a lie to you before you catch him—for no other (apparent) reason than that his own heart and conscience were convicted by the Spirit.

I realize this is tricky ground. As a parent and pastor, all of the above must be applied on a case-by-case basis. Though many of us may be in different places on the spectrum, we must nonetheless endeavor to avoid the extremes on either side. Find a nice seat in the middle as a starting point, and from there be wise, assess honestly, and pray that the merciful God who regenerates adults, teenagers, and children alike will give you much discernment, patience, and grace.


Brian Croft is senior pastor of Auburndale Baptist Church in Louisville, Kentucky. He is also the author of Visit the Sick: Ministering God’s Grace in Times of Illness and Test, Train, Affirm, and Send Into Ministry: Recovering the Local Church’s Responsibility to the External Call. Brian blogs regularly at Practical Shepherding.

0 Comments

"Worshipping at the Altar of Family"

9/10/2012

1 Comment

 
Picture
Check out the following article by authors Kristin and Ted Kluck.  As a father of two with one more on the way who will happily welcome any more that God may bring along thereafter, I appreciated their thoughts on keeping things in God-centerd perspective.


When visiting a number of Reformed churches in the last few months, we've noticed a significant trend. These churches are bursting with children---lots of biological children, of course, but also a good number of adopted and even foster kids. This is a great thing, all those kids, even if we are a little extra sensitive, due to our status as Dreaded Infertile Couple. But we've gotten used to this baby boom---the infant dedication.../rose-on-the-piano acknowledgements, the romper-room-kindergarten-classroom atmosphere in the sanctuary, the baby showers. And lest we sound too much like curmudgeons, we assure you that God has helped to heal the pain of infertility through the adoptions of our two sons (and used those same two wiggly, loud, preciously infuriating boys to confirm that we were not, ever, meant to be parents of a huge family).

But perhaps this sensitivity to the "normal" family experience of marriage at 21 with five kids by age 30 (five is the new two) has given us some perspective that may have escaped the Normals. It came to me this Sunday while sitting behind a family with six or seven kids and listening to the pastor talk about the things we sacrifice to God's agenda. He was talking about how the disciples had ambition for the wrong thing---power in an earthly kingdom. He went on to apply that faulty expectation to misplaced ambitions in our lives: wealth, power, and fame. He clarified that these things are not inherently, incurably wrong, and some devoted Christians do indeed gain wealth, power, and fame. But he spoke of the lust for them, the chasing after them, the have-to-have-them, the sum-total-of-my-being, as being the problem. He quoted David Powlison: "good gifts, bad gods." True, powerful, and convicting words.

And it struck me that those examples---wealth, power, fame---are primarily idolized by men. Sure, women may want some of those things. But more often men fantasize about being the richest guy, the prodigy in their field, wielding power and influencing people, being known and respected. A family may support him off to the side, but he's longing for the accolades, the respect, the riches. But I found myself, while he described the feelings of idolatry---the sense that this is my whole life, this is what I live for, this is what I dream of,this is what completes me and gives me significance---thinking that, for me, this is family.

This stuff of many women's fantasies includes an adoring, faithful spouse; attractive, obedient kids; people who depend on you, love you, give you a reason to get out of bed, regularly stand up and sing your praises. And it is idolatry, just like money, power, and fame. It's the thing that causes the mom in your women's Bible study to post the 67th picture of her daughter's birthday party on Facebook. It's the reason for the magazine-quality family pictures all over the house. It's why the mother-of-the-bride obsesses about her daughter's wedding and treats it like a part-time job. It's (at least in part) why Christmas letters get sent and then end up making their recipients feel mad and competitive.

Gift or God?
What makes it even trickier and more confusing is the value the Bible places on family. It is the building block of a just and moral society. It is a hedge of protection for the traditionally vulnerable children and women. The Bible has much to say about the blessing of a godly spouse and a houseful of children and includes lots of good directives on how to keep those relationships healthy and godly. Parents are charged with the precious task of directing and guiding our children's hearts towards God, so it is easy to think of family as an unqualified good. "Family values" is practically synonymous with "orthodox Christian."

If so, then why do I feel so convicted, sometimes, about worshiping at the altar of family?

Isn't family still a gift, not a god? Isn't it still something that can be elevated into first place, which should be reserved for God alone? I think we see the problem in our reactions to the hardships of family life---fractured relationships with parents, wayward or difficult children, marriages that are anything less than Christian-movie quality. We take it personally. We feel somehow personally affronted ... by God, as though the Perfect Family were our birthright as Christians. And when I say "we," I mean "I." It's a personal battle, waged mostly silently by other families and friends.

Churches encourage our husbands daily to not make idols out of their careers, and to not look at porn. But how are we, as wives, encouraging and exhorting one another not to make idols out of perhaps our greatest gifts: our families?

1 Comment

"Parenting For Recovering Pharisees"

8/31/2012

0 Comments

 
Picture
I came across this article by Christina Fox today and found it very helpful--hope the same will be true for you.  I have never been so aware of my own sinful, selfish heart as I am since having two little kids who, for some odd reason, don't always fit into my own personal program for any given day.  So I praise God all the time for using them to grow me, and look to Him for the grace to help me shepherd them like He shepherds me.  Enjoy...


Cooking dinner, I hear the sounds of angry hearts bubbling over into stinging words. It gets louder, and soon someone is crying. Two boys come out into the great-room, red-faced, fists clenched, and both yelling at once. After multiple attempts, I finally gather that one had frustrated the other, who responded by kicking his brother.

I begin by saying, "Remember how Jesus said we were to treat one another?"

"I'm not Jesus!" my oldest responds immediately, his face scrunched up as his feet stomp the tile floor. He runs off to his room.

Sometimes, my children speak words that the Spirit has been trying to pierce into my heart for a while.

The pasta is boiling over. The water makes sizzling sounds as it hits the red glass cook top. I stare at it, knowing I need to leave the kitchen and talk through the conflict with them. I think of how quickly anger can overflow the heart, spattering burning hot drops of pain on anyone nearby.

Turning down the heat on the pot, I walk into the boy's room, hoping to do the same with their anger. I find them both calm and playing with Legos. I get down on the floor, look my oldest in the eyes, and say, "I know you're not Jesus."

Deep into the PastHow often does a parent's response to her child's behavior imply that we expect perfection? The pharisaical heart has roots that dig deep into the past--back into childhood. A child can learn quickly the ways of self-righteousness. When they have behaved, they hear, "You're such a good boy." Over the years, they can grow to believe that the good they do comes from their own ability. When those beliefs take root, they can struggle with seeing their own sin. And perhaps even struggle with seeing their need for a Savior.

"Jesus called us to live as he lived. But he knows we can't be perfect as he is perfect," I tell my son. "That's why he died for us, because we can't do what's right. Through faith in him, he gives us the Holy Spirit. We have his power living within us. That's the only way we can ever obey. We need to pray and ask for his help."

He nods his head, listening.

"When you don't obey, remember that Jesus died for that disobedience. He loves you that much. When you feel the anger rising within you, pray and tell God you are angry. Ask him to help you to obey him."

As a recovering Pharisee, I struggle with living as though I can earn grace. I know how the self-righteous heart can look down on those who don't follow the rules. I don't want my children to grow up with the heart of a Pharisee.

I do want them to know the holiness of God. I want them to know all that he expects, what he commands, and what glorifies him. I also want them to realize that they can't perfectly obey him, and they need a Savior. I want their hearts to be grieved and humbled by their sin. I want them to run to the cross when they sin and remember his grace and mercy.

God's grace covers even my parenting blunders. How grateful I am that his grace is greater than all my sin! I rest in his promise that he is at work in my children's hearts despite my failed efforts. I trust in the story of redemption he is writing in their lives. And I look forward to that day when we will finally be like Jesus.



Christina Fox is a writer, blogger at www.toshowthemjesus.com, homeschooling mom, and coffee drinker, not necessarily in that order. She is a licensed mental health counselor and women’s Bible study teacher. She lives in sunny South Florida with her husband of 15 years and their two boys.

0 Comments

    Author

    Chad Skaran, pastor

    A note from Chad:
    While I will occasionally write original material for this blog, time constraints and my own slow writing style will usually lead me to share content from other authors who have already said it well themselves.  Enjoy!

    Picture

    Archives

    July 2015
    May 2014
    December 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013
    October 2012
    September 2012
    August 2012

    Categories

    All
    Church Life Together
    Cultural Issues
    Dating / Courtship
    Discipleship: Following Jesus
    Parenting
    Pastoring
    Physical Health
    The Gospel: Knowing It
    The Gospel: Sharing It

    RSS Feed

​Redemption Hill Church 
100 5th Street SE - Stewartville, MN 55976
507.533.8808
Home
About
Contact